North Korea Test
North Korea has defied the world and tested a nuclear device. Later today, the Communist country will test another device its people have never seen before; a can-opener.

North Korea Sanctions
The world is responding to North Korea's nuclear test with severe sanctions. This means from now on, all North Koreans will have to find their own dirt to eat.

North Korea Reactions
Reactions to the North Korean nuclear test announcement have been swift. President Bush is condemning the Asian nation, U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton is calling for sanctions, and House Speaker Dennis Hastert is trying to cover it up.

Midterm Poll
The latest surveys show Democrats now have a huge advantage over Republicans in the pre-election polls. Democrats now hold a 64% majority of women voters, 55% of elderly voters, and 100% of 18-year-old male voters who used to work as pages on Capitol Hill.

Army Recruitment
Thanks to drastically reduced aptitude and intelligence requirements, the U.S. Army beat its recruitment goals for 2006. Hey, it works for Arizona State, so why not the Army?

Army Recruitment II
Thanks to drastically reduced aptitude and intelligence requirements, the U.S. Army beat its recruitment goals for 2006. Hey, it worked for the Republicans in the White House, so why not the Army?

Top 5 Questions on the Army's Super-Easy New Aptitude Test

5) When was the last time Saturday Night Live was funny?

4) Spell "potato" (you may use this questionnaire to help you answer)

3) 2 + 2 = a)4 b) 4 c) 4 d) 4

2) Do you feel very attached to any of your limbs?

1) There's no hope of winning, and an invasion is sure to throw the country into a civil war, do you invade anyway?

Economics Nobel Laureate
Columbia University Professor Edmund Phelps has won the 2006 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics. He was recognized for his landmark work that somehow explained how Columbia can get away with charging $45,000 for its annual tuition.