Owens Denial
Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens is strongly denying he tried to kill himself last night. Now if you'll excuse him, he's late for his motorcycle ride with Ben Roethlisberger.

Top 5 Reasons Terrell Owens has to Live

5) There still are a few NFL fans out there that he hasn't offended

4) He still needs to swipe that Campbell's Soup away from Donovan McNab's mama

3) After football, he has a lucrative future as the spokesman for Prozac

2) He hasn't even had a chance to publicly trash any of his Dallas teammates yet!

1) If he gets back to the Super Bowl, maybe he'll get to see Janet Jackson's OTHER breast!

Pirro Probe
Republican New York state attorney general candidate Jeanine Pirro is under federal investigation for allegedly plotting to secretly record her husband to find out if he was having an affair. Apparently Pirro is the only person in New York who DOESN’T know her husband is having an affair.

Bush Angry
President Bush is calling the leak of the National Intelligence Estimate a devious political act intended to undermine his administration. Of course, that's also what he says about the midterm elections.

Bush on CIA
President Bush says the CIA is "naïve" for saying the Iraq war was spreading terror worldwide and helping to rally new recruits for Al Qaeda. Not because it isn't true, but because they're now all out of a job.

Leak Investigation
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says the Justice Department is deciding whether to investigate those responsible for leaking the National Intelligence Assessment, or simply giving their names to Robert Novak.

MySpace Voting
MySpace.com is launching a voter-registration drive... apparently in an attempt to empower the nation's sex offenders and pedophiles.