Al Qaeda vs. the Pope
As Muslim anger against Pope Benedict XVI grows, al Qaeda is launching several plots against the Pontiff. The most sinister plan is a scheme to steal the entire world's supply of bleach.

Al Qaeda vs. the Pope II
As Muslim anger against Pope Benedict XVI grows, al Qaeda is launching several plots against the Pontiff. But it will be hard for the terrorists to do any worse than what Michigan did to Notre Dame on Saturday.

Capitol Breach
An armed man who had crack cocaine in his possession ran through the U.S. Capitol Monday after crashing his vehicle on the Capitol grounds. Police say he was just in a hurry to deliver his campaign donation.

Stork Attacked
Rumanian police are looking for the person who viciously attacked a stork in a bird sanctuary in that country. The prime suspect is a local woman who has 12 kids.

Willie Arrested
Willie Nelson has been arrested for marijuana possession in Louisiana. Willie told police he had the pot because he was sick of singing about booze.

Bad Spinach Source
After several days, the FDA still can't find the source of the E. Coli-tainted spinach that has sickened dozens across the country... but the FBI does have an arrest warrant out for Bluto.

Chirac's Plea
French President Jacques Chirac says that people should not link Islam to violence. Um Jacques, too bad the only people linking Islam to violence are Muslims.