Pope's Respect
Continuing his conciliatory tone, Pope Benedict XVI said Wednesday that he has a "deep respect for Islam"... you know, in the way that you have to respect a guy with a gun to your head.

Chavez Calls Bush the Devil
President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela assailed President Bush before the United Nations General Assembly Wednesday, calling him “the devil.” The speech was written by the New York Times editorial board.

Sulfur Smell
Chavez said he knew President Bush was the devil because the U.N. rostrum "still smelled like sulfur" a day after he spoke. Actually, that smell was Jack Daniels.

U.N. Reaction
Several members of the U.N. General Assembly applauded and laughed at Chavez's comments, something they'll do again when they hear the same material while sitting in the studio audience at the Daily Show later this week.

Top 5 Signs You Might be the Devil

5) The oil companies keep hiring you as a consultant

4) The only place you feel at home is at a Marilyn Manson concert

3) You've always wanted to work for the IRS

2) You signed Ashlee Simpson to her recording contract

1) Mike Wallace keeps asking you out

Roadless Forests
A federal judge has ruled that the Bush administration failed to conduct necessary environmental studies before trying to repeal laws banning road building in national forests. But the White House says all the coyotes it asked really want to drive.