Foley's Whereabouts
It turns out former Representative Mark Foley had Internet sex with a boy during the 2003 House vote on emergency funding for the Iraq war. So if more members of Congress were pedophiles, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Bush on Dems
President Bush is blasting the Democrats saying they're soft on terror. That's opposed to Republicans, who stay hard for terrorism... and their pages.

Top 5 Ways to Cover the Fact You're a Gay Republican Congressman

5) Get the oil lobbyists to pay all your text messaging bills

4) Just keep voting to ban gay marriage; NO ONE will suspect you then

3) Call Homeland Security and ask for, "one of them orange alerts"

2) Avoid suspicion by blaming another current problem on Bill Clinton

1) Every time you want to go off to a gay bar, just say you're going hunting with Dick Cheney

Rice On North Korea
Responding to North Korea's decision to conduct a nuclear weapons test, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said such a test would be "a very provocative act"... not as much as proving she lied about meeting with CIA Director George Tenet, but provocative just the same.

Irish Gay Marriage
A lesbian couple living in Ireland has begun a landmark court case to have their marriage recognized there. Of course they could save a lot of time and money and just buy the judges a rounds at the pub.

Baby Disco
A new popular event touring the country is Baby Loves Disco, where parents bring their young children to nightclubs where they can dance. The concept was created by R. Kelly.

O'Reilly "Error"
During Tuesday's broadcast of the "O'Reilly Factor," former Representative Mark Foley mistakenly labeled a Democrat 3 times. The show routinely does the same thing with Osama bin Laden.