Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Foley Evidence
It turns out recently resigned Congressman Mark Foley sent dozens of inappropriate emails and instant messages to male teenage pages over the years. So I guess he voted against gay marriage just to cut down on the competition.

Foley Latest
Former Congressman Mark Foley has checked himself into an alcohol rehab program. Because, you know alcoholism is really his biggest problem right now.

GOP Denials
Republican Congressional leaders continue to strongly deny they knew anything about Foley's problems until last week. That's because the guy who was supposed to tell them about that is also in charge of informing them about how well the war is going in Iraq.

Top 5 Most Inappropriate Mark Foley Instant Messages

5) "Haley Joel Osment = SO last year"

4) "I wanna tack on a few amendments to YOUR bill if U know what I mean"

3) "Michael Jackson = SO misunderstood"

2) "Tell oil lobbyists: don't want money... just PlayStation games!"

1) "Meet me 4 dinner or I'm sending U 2 Iraq!"

Nobel Laureates
Two American doctors have just won the 2006 Nobel Prize for Medicine. So, as soon as they fill out all the insurance forms, they will get to share the $1.3 million in prize money.

New Scotus Docket
The U.S. Supreme Court began its new term today with a ruling against ex-Kiss guitarist Vinnie Vincent who lost an appeal in a dispute over royalties. Seven of the nine justices expressed disappointment that Vincent appeared before the court without his face paint.

Michael Arrested
George Michael was arrested in London after police found him slumped over in his car for the second time this year. Michael was apparently listening to his latest CD at the time.


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