Hastert Disinvited
In the aftermath of the Mark Foley affair, many Republican Congressmen are asking House Speaker Dennis Hastert not to come to their campaign events... although it's not clear if they're doing that to avoid the scandal or just because Hastert always eats all the food.

New U.K. General on Iraq
Britain's new top general says his country's troops need to withdraw from Iraq because they are making the security situation worse. Al Qaeda agrees, saying that all those British troops are getting in the way when they're trying to kill Americans.

Top 5 Reasons the British Should Pull Out of Iraq

5) Hard to make tea when people keep shooting at you

4) It's too embarrassing that the Iraqis have better teeth than they do

3) They could actually replace a whole a battalion with Fergie

2) Troops dangerously beginning to get used to climate that isn't cold and rainy all the time

1) Need to plan much more justified bombing of France

Warner Bows Out
Former Virginia Governor Mark Warner has decided not to seek the Democratic nomination for President in 2008. Warner cited several reasons, including the long hours, his love of this family, and the fact that he still has a shred of decency.

Jail Strategy
An Ohio man who couldn't find steady work decided to rob a bank and then get free housing in jail for a few years. This is sort of what most American CEO's are doing now too.