Eichmann Revelation
New documents show the CIA knew the whereabouts of Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann more than two years before his capture by the Israelis, but did nothing to pursue him... mostly because there was no evidence he supported gay marriage.

Top 5 Ben Bernanke Gaffes

5) Says he's fighting inflation, but keeps giving his kids a higher allowance

4) When potential buyers come to his neighbor's open house, he tells them to "just wait another 20 years"

3) Often seen crying at the supermarket checkout

2) Expects his neighbors not to notice he's been hoarding water, food rations, and gold bricks in his garage for the last two months

1) Thinks the Bush administration actually has an economic policy

Iran's Response
Iran says a proposal by the world's biggest powers to curtail Tehran's nuclear program contains some "positive aspects"... especially the part where everyone continues to cower in fear before a nation run by maniacs.

Omen Opens
In a lame bit of marketing, Hollywood decided to release a dull remake of "The Omen" Tuesday because it's 6/6/6. The good news is we won't have to go through that again for at least another 100 years.

Canadian Terror Plot
Investigators say the 17 arrested Muslim terror suspects planned to behead the Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper. Experts say it would have made more sense for the plotters to cut off something Harper actually uses.

Shaq Loves Pat
Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neil says Pat Riley is the "best coach he's ever had." It was something Shaq just blurted out after Riley let him go back for thirds at the hotel buffet.

Hawks New Home
Bird watchers say Manhattan's famous hawks, "Pale Male" and "Lola" have now been spotted making a nest in the apartment building where former Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown lives on Central Park West. Actually, I would think if there were any birds living near Gurley Brown, they'd be buzzards.