Hussein Shocker
The good news for Saddam Hussein is that a witness in his genocide trial claimed that some people allegedly massacred on his orders are alive. The bad news is they were found working at a WMD factory.

New Treasury Secretary
President Bush nominated Goldman Sachs CEO Henry Paulson to be the new Treasury secretary on Tuesday. Of course, the president's first choice was Ken Lay.

New Treasury Secretary II
President Bush nominated Goldman Sachs CEO Henry Paulson to be the new Treasury secretary on Tuesday. In true Goldman Sachs tradition, Paulson immediately began working on a leveraged buyout of al Qaeda.

Hoffa Dig Over
After 12 days of digging the FBI has called off the search for Jimmy Hoffa at a farm north of Detroit. But they did unearth 6 new suspects in the Natalee Holloway case.

Jacko Emotional
Michael Jackson cried while accepting an award on Japanese TV this week... at least we think he cried; his eyes stopped being able to produce tears 5 surgeries ago.

Jacko Emotional II
Michael Jackson cried while accepting an award on Japanese TV this week. That was a switch; usually Michael Jackson isn't the one who's touched.

School Bus Study
A new study shows that school buses expose kids to dangerous pollution... but most of the pollution comes from the kids inside the school bus.