NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com. Here's the link: Newsday

New Batwoman
DC Comics says it's introducing a new Batwoman character who will be a lesbian. Wait a minute, Batman and Robin have been running around in tights for 60 years and they're making HER the gay one?

Iran Talks
In a major breakthrough in the Iranian nuclear crisis, the U.S. Britain, China, France, Germany and Russia have all agreed to talks with Iran... oops they forgot to invite Iran.

Top 5 Things Overheard at the First Talks with Iran

5) "We're only agreeing to these talks because Magneto wouldn't agree to come to Tehran."

4) "We want free trade, food, and first pick in next season's NFL fantasy draft."

3) "Does this turban match my shoes?"

2) "Are they really making Batgirl a lesbian? That's hot!"

1) "Seriously don't worry, we don't even know how to charge an iPod."

Spelling Bee Live
ABC broadcast the final round of the national spelling bee on primetime TV Thursday. The contestants spent Wednesday night partying with strippers and talking steroids.