Thursday, June 01, 2006

Bush Haditha Reaction
President Bush says he's "troubled by the news reports" of a possible massacre at Haditha. He's not troubled by the possible massacre, he's troubled that they made it into the news.

Bush Promises Punishment
President Bush is promising "punishment" if any Marines are guilty of a massacre in Haditha... and he'll get to that as soon as he finishes his serious promise to fire whoever in his administration leaked Valerie Plame's name to the news media.

Top 5 Reasons Not to Get Too Upset About Haditha

5) At least they didn't kill anyone important, like a cute American TV news reporter

4) Well, the taxpayers won't have to pay for those guys' college tuition

3) At no time during the alleged massacre did any Marine draw a picture of Muhammad

2) It's getting harder every day for the troops to tell the innocent civilians from the dangerous Christian Science Monitor translators

1) It's not like the Marines went to a party with the Duke Lacrosse team or anything

Couric Farewell
It was a bittersweet farewell to Katie Couric on the "Today" show Wednesday. The tributes from the rest of the cast and crew were beautiful, but they were marred somewhat when Couric insisted on giving everyone one last colonoscopy live on the air.

Delta Deal
Delta Air Lines pilots have agreed to painful 14% wage cuts to avoid a strike. Now the only people making tougher concessions are the passengers.

3-Armed Baby
A baby in China has been born with three arms. This is such a sad story; the people who need three arms are parents!


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