SUNDAY RADIO ALERT!! You can catch me LIVE on the internet radio station WBCQ tonight and every Sunday night at 9pm! The name of the show is "The Johnny Lightning Show" Here is the link to find out how to download the show: WBCQ Radio

Top 10 Ismar Schorsch Excuses


10) Didn't mean to attack all rappers... just West Coast rappers

9) Was auditioning for the role of the "angry old man" at the Camp Ramah theater

8) He's been morose ever since the JTS football team lost to Notre Dame 49-0

7) The lines about the "bland" Conservative Chumash were supposed to be about the meals at the JTS cafeteria

6) Not angry at all students, just the ones who didn't buy his book

5) His entire JTS retirement package is $53 in cash and a box of stale Tam-Tams

4) They scheduled graduation during his usual nap time

3) His official Seminary portrait was done by a graffitti artist

2) Wanted to alienate everyone so they really welcome Arnie Eisen

1) Had to bash Conservative Jews to get that job he wants at the Jewish Press