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Stranded Drivers
Texas is asking the Pentagon for help in getting gasoline to drivers stuck in huge traffic jams in Houston. They're asking the Pentagon, because the U.S. Army has been working for the oil companies for 30 years.

Stranded Drivers II
Thousands of cars are stuck in a huge traffic jam in Houston. But it's not clear whether it's the cars of people trying to escape the hurricane or just another unemployment line.

Things to Do if You're Stuck in Traffic Trying to Get Out of Houston

5) Try to figure why Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney really broke up

4) Look at the other people in your car and decide whether you could eat them if you really had to

3) Do your penance as a Texan for foisting George W. Bush on the rest of us

2) Realize that voting for a candidate based on his stance on gay marriage really seems stupid right now

1) Find the one guy who thinks honking his horn is helping... and run him over

$5 Dollar Gas?
Experts say the timing of the two major hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico could lead to $5-a-gallon gas. Actually, the real cause for another huge jump in prices is the fact that most oil executives need more cash to start their Christmas shopping.

Iraq Poll
A new poll shows that 55% of Americans no longer think we can win in Iraq. The other 45% think we can win, but only if Iraq isn't hit with any hurricanes.

CIA Morale
Insiders say CIA chief Porter Goss is still having trouble pulling the beleaguered spy agency together. But morale has been better ever since it became clear that FEMA was way more inept than they ever were.