Monday Night Charity
At last night's Giants-Saints game, a special collection was taken to bring food and clothes to Hurricane Katrina victims. But that didn't take in as much money as the special collection to bring the Saints a decent pass rusher.

Lost Child Pics
CNN is being lauded for putting up constant shots of missing children from the Katrina disaster on a split screen. Not only have the pictures on the left side of the screen helped reunite families, they've shamed CNN producers from putting stupid stories about things like runaway brides on the right side.

Lost Child Pics II
CNN is putting up constant shots of missing children from the Katrina disaster on a split screen. FOX News is doing the same with pictures of all President Bush's supporters who have suddenly disappeared too.

Bush vs. Nagin
President Bush is voicing reservations over Mayor Ray Nagin's decision to allow many citizens to come back to New Orleans. The White House says it isn't against people coming back; it just wants to make sure their names have been erased from the voter registration rolls first.

Kozlowski Sentenced
Former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski was slapped with a stiff sentence yesterday for stealing millions of dollars from his own company. But even though he's supposed to serve at least 8 1/2 years, Kozlowski will probably be back in his home well before any the Katrina evacuees get back to theirs.

Kozlowski Sentenced II
Former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski was slapped with an 8 1/2 to 25-year prison sentence yesterday for stealing millions of dollars from his own company. Suddenly, that $3,500 personal shower curtain he bought doesn't seem like so much of an impulse purchase after all!

Top 5 Dennis Kozlowski Prison Survival Tips

5) Before going in, shove as many iPod Nanos you can into you body cavities and use them as currency… and speed bumps

4) Demand good treatment or threaten to bankrupt all the guards' 401k's

3) Spend the next 15 days memorizing all the moves from the "Ultimate Fighting Championship"

2) Make huge contribution to GOP, wait 5 minutes to be released

1) Bring Martha Stewart with you for protection

North Korea Deal
North Korea has agreed to shelve its nuclear weapons program. Not because it wants peace, but because all their nukes were pointed toward New Orleans in the first place.

Atheists Lobby
American atheists say they want to set up their own lobby in Washington. Of course there are plenty of people in Washington who don't believe in God or divine justice; they're called Congressmen.