Bush Approval Rating
In the wake of the Hurricane Katrina relief debacle, President Bush's approval rating is down to an all-time low of 39%. The 39% who still support him say the President's reaction to the storm was right, because you shouldn't interfere when God is busy killing people

No Forced Evacuations
Authorities say no one has been forcibly evacuated from New Orleans... well, no one except FEMA Director Michael Brown.

Saints Win
The New Orleans Saints pulled off an upset 23-20 win over Carolina in their season opener. The win was an emotional one for the rich, white New Orleans fans who may never see their Superdome luxury boxes again.

Top 5 Changes for the New Orleans Saints

5) They're finally playing for a city in worse shape than they are

4) As they watched hundreds dying from a natural disaster, the players finally realized Jesus probably doesn't give a damn about football

3) Coach now motivating players by telling them they better shape up or be forced to clean out the Superdome bathrooms

2) Their steroids are now being kept in waterproof packages

1) Some of the players actually see that the world doesn't revolve around them... just kidding!