Top 5 Signs President Bush has Learned Something from the Katrina Disaster

5) The next time it rains, he'll send the 102nd Airbourne to clean Colin Powell's gutters

4) Showing his resolve to do something about flood-threatened areas by invading Venice

3) Beginning plans to sell Louisiana back to the French

2) Ordering Karl Rove to produce some anti-flood TV commercials

1) From now on, only three naps a day!

Rehnquist Dies
Chief Justice William Rehnquist died yesterday at age 80. President Bush will use the vacancy on the court to show he really does care about Black people and the victims of weather disasters by nominating Al Roker.

Rehnquist Dies II
Chief Justice William Rehnquist died yesterday at age 80... making him the only government official in Washington actually doing less than President Bush to help the hurricane victims.

Anderson's Anger
CNN anchor Anderson Cooper lashed out at Senators Mary Landrieu and Trent Lott, demanding to know why more wasn't done to prepare for Hurricane Katrina. Cooper's outburst shocked experts, who thought the only thing that could rile him up was being forced to wear a non-tailored suit.

Attacks on Bush
Rapper Kanye West says President Bush "doesn't care about Black people." The White House says that's not true, especially since every Black person President Bush knows is already in the cabinet.

Rice's Reaction
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says she doesn't believe race had anything to do with the lack of response to Hurricane Katrina. Of course, Rice also doesn't believe she's Black.

Saddam Trial
The good news is there's finally been a date set for Saddam Hussein's war crimes trial. The bad news is it's being planned by the same people who planned the response to Hurricane Katrina.