Bush Supporters
President Bush's staunchest supporters are remaining loyal to him. Experts say that's because even with all the mistakes related to Hurricane Katrina, there have been no gay marriages even in the most damaged areas.

Blanco's Promise
Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco told the state legislature last night that New Orleans "will rise again"... only this time it won't have any poor people.

German Elections
Angela Merkel, the front-runner in the upcoming election for Chancellor of Germany, is promising to "get results" in the fight against anti-Semitism. And her statement has already yielded results... she is no longer the front-runner in the upcoming election for Chancellor of Germany.

Top 5 Signs You're Flying on a Bankrupt Airline

5) The only movie they show on every flight is "Gigli"

4) Stewardesses come around the cabin with hat and ask you to "give a little something for the crew"

3) Jet's lavatories are coin-operated

2) You're asked to bring your own snacks, pillows, and seatbelts

1) Your flight makes an unannounced stop to fill up at a cheap gas station in Wisconsin

Airline Bankruptcies
Delta and Northwest Airlines have both declared bankruptcy because of the rising cost of fuel. In a related story, all 350 million Americans have declared bankruptcy because of the rising cost of fuel.

Pledge Ruling
A federal judge has declared that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional because of the "under God" phrase. The judge said he didn't base his ruling on any legal precedents; it's just that he's really mad at God after the whole Hurricane Katrina thing.