New Storm
Hurricane Rita could now reach category-4 strength and slam right into Texas. The news is prompting oil companies to fly relief price-hikers to filling stations across the country.

Top 5 Ways CNN is Preparing for Another Hurricane

5) Sending Aaron Brown to Galveston, keeping his hair in New Orleans

4) Squeezing in another 500 TV screens on Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room board

3) Supplying Paula Zahn's already overworked make-up team with an I.V. line and MRE rations

2) Reminding all staff that Larry King's diapers can be used as a flotation device

1) Raising advertising rates faster than the price of gas

Fed Raises Rates
Alan Greenspan and the Federal Reserve decided to raise interest rates again yesterday, saying that Hurricane Katrina did not pose a significant threat to the economy. Well, that's true, after Katrina... there is no economy.

Doubting al Qaeda
A U.S. counterterrorism official says that even though al Qaeda deputy Ayman al Zawahiri's latest televised message takes credit for the London subway bombings, it doesn't prove they actually did it... kind of like when President Bush makes televised messages promising to help hurricane victims.

Moss Dropped
Fashion retailer H&M has dropped Kate Moss as their leading model after she was caught taking cocaine. H&M and other leading clothing chains say models shouldn't be using cocaine, especially when the company's executives need more of it for themselves.

Moss Dropped II
Fashion retailer H&M has dropped Kate Moss as their leading model after she was caught taking cocaine. H&M says Moss' cocaine use might lead her to make careless mistakes, like eating lunch.

Nationals Ban Preacher
A team prayer leader for the Washington Nationals has been banned from the locker room after saying that Jews are doomed because they don't accept Jesus. Actually, he was really banned because he said the Nationals are doomed because they don't hit in the clutch.