O'Connor Quitting
Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor announced her retirement yesterday, but to get the news media's attention her staff had to report her missing in Aruba.

Top 5 Real Reasons Sandra Day O'Connor Stepped Down

5) Tired of people confusing her with Judge Judy

4) Tired of making $10 million less per year than Judge Judy

3) Hated being called "the pretty one" when compared to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg

2) 24 years of going to the Supreme Court barber shop, and in all that time not one decent hairdo!

1) Now that they're not working together, she and Clarence Thomas can finally date!

Iran President
Isn't it weird that 5 former U.S. hostages recognize the new president of Iran as being one of their captors 25 years ago, but there still isn't anybody who remembers seeing President Bush showing up for his National Guard duty?