Top 5 Least Popular Movie Lines of All Time

5) "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've weighed less than 500 pounds!"

4) "Michael Jackson's looking at you, kid!"

3) "What we've got here is failure to text message."

2) "I'm going to make him an offer he can refuse... but he really shouldn't, because you know, I'm a vicious mobster."

1) "Frankly my dear, I'm gay!"

Top 5 Least Popular Porn Movie Lines of All Time

5) "My shower is broken, but I think I'll just wait for the plumber to fix it instead of coming over and using yours."

4) "Hey lady, if you really want pepperoni with this pizza, I'm going to have to go back to the shop!"

3) "Here, cover yourself up with this."

2) "Let's cuddle."

1) "Ewwww!!!"

Frightened Boy Scout
It turns out once-missing Boy Scout Brennan Hawkins was so hard to find because he had been told to hide from strange people. With the mountains crawling with cable news reporters, it's a miracle he ever came out at all.

Flag Law
The House of Representatives has passed a new law banning the desecration of the U.S. flag. Of course the best way to do that is to remove all U.S. flags from the House of Representatives.

Flag Law II
The House of Representatives has passed a new law banning the desecration of the U.S. flag... not for patriotic reasons, but because Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist says he believes the flags show cognitive function.

New Social Security Plan
Congressional Republicans have crafted a new Social Security plan that does not include private investment accounts. The lawmakers finally realized that most Americans think wise investing means buying two scratch-off tickets instead of one.

New York Lobbying Law
New York State legislators in Albany have agreed to set new rules regulating lobbying in the state capital. The rules are expected to help eliminate graft, favoritism, and any reason anyone would actually want to spend money i n Albany.

Snapple Melt
A publicity stunt failed yesterday when a giant popsicle made from a Snapple fruit drink quickly melted and flooded a New York City park with sticky goo... nobody in the park noticed the difference.