TV Show
The first episode of "Celebrity Charades" debuted this week... but enough about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Top 5 Reasons Americans Aren't Going to the Movies Anymore

5) Even if it’s just a movie, it’s just too scary to see Tom Cruise right now

4) Star Wars geeks having “light saber fights” keep hurting innocent bystanders

3) Before you can get butter on your popcorn, you have to sign a form promising you won’t slap the theater with an obesity lawsuit

2) John Bolton keeps throwing things at the screen when he gets angry

1) If people really wanted to cram into a crowded place with sticky floors and people gabbing on their cell phones, they can just take the subway

Bush-Khai
Vietnamese Prime Minister Phan Van Khai has invited President Bush to visit Vietnam as soon as possible. Bush doesn't want to go, and he's pretty sure the invitation is just a formality... but he’s finally going to report to his Alabama Air National Guard unit just to be safe.

Guarding Saddam
The troops guarding Saddam Hussein in prison say he sometimes eats children’s cereals. His favorite one is called "WMD's"... because for some reason Americans can never find the prizes that come hidden inside the box.

Bush-Frist
After a meeting at the White House yesterday, President Bush has convinced Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist not to give up on the John Bolton nomination. Also during that meeting, Bush pressured Frist to try to resuscitate Terri Schiavo and re-open the Whitewater investigation.

Durbin Apology
Senate Democrat Dick Durbin has apologized for comparing U.S. army interrogators at Guantanamo Bay to Nazis. In the last few days, Durbin has come to realize that his words were harsh, easy to misunderstand, and that the only people allowed to compare their fellow Americans to Nazis are the Republicans.

Rehnquist Okay?
Chief Justice William Rehnquist’s doctor believes he’s in good enough health to stay on the bench. But many experts doubt that diagnosis since it was made by Bill Frist by videotape.

Mississippi Burning Case Verdict
80-year old Edgar Ray Killen has been found guilty of killing three civil rights workers 41 years ago. The jury decided to convict Killen when they realized former Adelphia Chairman John Rigas might like a cellmate his own age.

Boy Scout Found
Volunteers finally found an 11-year-old Boy Scout in Utah, four days after he went missing… but that’s several days shy of being missing long enough to boost MSNBC’s ratings.

NBA Deal
The new deal between the NBA and the players union sets a new age requirement for the league. Before he can get on a pro roster, a player must now be either at least 19-years-old or have at least 5 illegitimate children.

Hamptons Sale
The heiress to the Schlumberger oil fortune is putting her Hamptons estate up for sale at a $90 million asking price. That's about the same amount that it costs for enough gas to drive an SUV from Manhattan to the Hamptons this summer.