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SUPER RADIO ALERT!!! I'm going to be a featured player on the new "BILL PRESS SHOW," which is launching nationwide on Sirius Satellite Radio on June 27th!!! You can hear me Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays performing my own material as the "Roving Reporter." Here's some more info on the show: The Bill Press Show

Cruise and Holmes Engaged
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got enaged in Paris yesterday. Their relationship is expected to last until they get the required publicity for their new films, or until Holmes realizes Cruise is gay... whichever comes first.

Schiavo Case Re-Opened
Citing some supposed "gaps" in Terri Schiavo's autopsy report, Governor Jeb Bush has ordered state prosecutors to open a criminal investigation in the case. Their first move will to be to indict Jeb Bush for beating the case to death.