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Choosing Redd
President Bush has nominated retired Admiral John Scott Redd to head the National Counterterrorism Center. Bush chose Redd to protect our nation against terrorism of all kinds because of his military and intelligence experience, but mostly because he's opposed to abortion and affirmative action.

G8 Debt Relief
Finance ministers from the world's wealthiest nations have agreed to cancel $55 billion worth of debt run up by the world's poorest entities. They include sub-Saharan African nations, not-for-profit health providers, and everyone who's been betting on the Yankees.

Gilligan Ad
A racy TV commercial for the second season of "The Real Gilligan's Island" on TBS is causing massive controversy. Not because of the ad's sexy content, but because it's igniting near-deadly "Mary Ann vs. Ginger" debates at dozens of bars across the nation.