Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The "HELP SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT JAKE" campaign is officially underway!!!

Radio personalities, please help Jake accomplish his goal of getting on staff at Letterman, Conan or the Daily Show by spreading the news, on the air, about Jake Novak's quest for comedy greatness!!

If you've used Jake's free material in the past, this is the fun and still free way to help him out... and it might even make a funny running segment for your show.

Why not have Jake do a phoner on your show where he can do his own humor and cater it especially for your audience?!?

If you're interested, you can contact Jake at jakesjokes@gmail.com

Parade Honoree
One of the stars of the Memorial Day Parade in Washington yesterday was World War I veteran Lloyd Brown. But it's not clear if the 103-year old Brown showed up in full uniform with his loaded rifle to participate in the parade, or because he heard President Bush was trying to ruin Social Security.

Bush Ceremony
President Bush laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier yesterday. The President was the perfect person to set the somber tone, since he had just seen his latest poll numbers.

Al Zarqawi Okay
In a new taped message, insurgent leader Abu Musab al Zarqawi assures Osama bin Laden that he was only slightly wounded in a recent attack. Zarqawi explains he had to exagerate the severity of his injuries at first so he could collect as much workman's comp as possible.

Iraqi Doctors Quitting
A new report shows that 32,000 Iraqi doctors have quit their jobs since 2003. It's not because of the continued terror attacks... it's just that ever since the Americans took over, all they do is fill out insurance forms.

Top 5 Signs We're in a Real Estate Bubble

5) The doghouse in your backyard has just been assessed at $315,000

4) $200 million Lotto winners can finally be able to quit their jobs, take a vacation, and put a small downpayment on a 1-bedroom apartment in Manhattan

3) All those crazy stock day-traders from the 90's now work at Century 21

2) Wait at your local doctor's office much shorter than the wait for a decent contractor to call you back

1) Elderly homeowners starting not to worry so much about President Bush ruining Social Security

NYPD Cameras
The New York City Police Department wants to put up 400 surveillance cameras across the city to record possible crime activities 24 hours a day. If approved, the only people doing more filming of crime scenes around the City than the cops would be the folks who produce all those "Law and Order" shows.


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