You can get Jake's Comedy Corner right on your email! To get Jake's jokes emailed to you directly Monday-Friday, just send a blank email to jakesjokes@gmail.com

Shrinks vs. Cruise
Psychiatrists are publicly lashing out at Tom Cruise for calling psychiatry a "pseudo science." On the other hand, they're really grateful that Cruise is providing them with a textbook case for someone who's gone completely nuts.

Top 5 Things Americans Will Do if Gas Hits $3 a Gallon

5) Park Hummers in Midtown Manhattan and rent them as studio apartments

4) Realize that voting a Texas oilman into office wasn't such a great idea after all

3) Teach their kids karate so they'll be safer when hitch hiking

2) Only leave the house for the essential trips; like getting cigarettes and lotto tickets

1) Get ready for the U.S. invasion of Iran

BTK Fesses Up
By confessing to ten murders instead of having a long and eventful trial, the BTK killer claimed another victim yesterday: Nancy Grace.

BTK Fesses Up II
"BTK" serial killer Douglas Rader changed his plea from not guilty to guilty, confessing to murdering ten people. Rader decided against a long trial out of sympathy, not for the victims' families, but for all the reporters still tired from the Michael Jackson trial.

BTK Fesses Up III
"BTK" serial killer Douglas Rader says he stripped and bound his victims to satisfy his sexual desires… which means he could have avoided all of this if he had just taken a job at Abu Ghraib prison.

Eisner's Book
Outgoing Disney CEO Michael Eisner is out with a new book where he talks about how his experiences in sleep-away camp helped mold his values… which means he spent his summers stealing the other kids candy, and making sure all the counselors owed him money.

Rehnquist Stays On
As expected, Chief Justice William Rehnquist did not announce his retirement yesterday. Rehnquist says he won't step down until someone brings that killer shark in Florida to justice.

Shark Attack!
A second teenaged swimmer has been attacked by a shark off of the Florida coast. But the shark has already hired Michael Jackson's lawyers to say he's being falsely accused by the swimmers' opportunistic, scamming parents.

Shark Attack II
The second shark-biting incident occurred 80 miles from the deadly attack on Saturday, which means police are also searching for an accomplice who's driving the shark's getaway car.

Shark Attack III
Police are still searching for the shark responsible for a deadly attack in a Florida beach this weekend. The shark says he's ready to cut a deal with prosecutors in return for information he has about the whereabouts of that girl missing in Aruba.

Supreme Court-Journalists
The Supreme Court's decision not to allow two reporters to shield their sources in story involving a White House leak is sending a strong message to journalists everywhere: write more stories about runaway brides and shark attacks!