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London Attack
In response to latest attack on the tube, London Mayor Ken Livingstone is urging citizens to stay calm, keep watch, and help him find a way to blame this all on Israel.

NYC Reaction
After the latest bombing attempt in London, New York City cops are asking commuters to tell them if they smell anything strange on the subway… so, the city is going to need to hire A LOT more cops.

Gaza Protests
Angry Jewish settlers continue to try to stop Israel from pulling out of the Gaza Strip. Experts say Israel could have avoided this whole pull-out controversy if it had just used a condom.

New Saudi Ambassador
60-year-old Turki al Faisal is set to become the new Saudi ambassador to the United States. Faisal has already made a number of trips to the White House so President Bush can get used to kissing his ass.

Brown to the Knicks?
Free agent coach Larry Brown has enjoyed success everywhere he's been; which explains why the New York Knicks want Larry Brown to coach them and why Larry Brown doesn't want to coach the New York Knicks.

Grand Theft Porn
Video game retailers are outraged to learn there were illicit sex scenes on the best-selling video game "Grand Theft Auto." Had they known about them, they could've charged a lot more!