Top 5 Possible Titles for Pope Benedict XVI's First Encyclical

5) "No More Mr. Nice Pope"

4) "The Eucharist for Dummies"

3) "Zen and the Art of Confessional Maintenance"

2) "The Chalice is Half Full"

1) "Da Vinci Code My Ass... The Vatican Doesn't Even Have a Secret Passageway to the John!"

Bolton's Faults
Critics say John Bolton's temperament, credibility and treatment of colleagues make him a bad choice to be U.N. ambassador. But they do admit he does seem to be what the Bush administration is looking for in a House majority leader.

Bolton Delays
President Bush is outraged the Senate is stalling a vote on U.N. ambassador nominee John Bolton. Bush wants them to stop delaying so he can quickly send Bolton to the U.N. and then have him do nothing.

Powell's Calls
The New York Times is reporting that former Secretary of State Colin Powell has called some Republican Senators complaining about John Bolton's treatment of subordinates. But experts say the Senators didn't listen to Powell when he made the same complaints about Dick Cheney, so why should they listen to him now?

Bush Names Pace
President Bush named General Peter Pace Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff today. Starting in Vietnam, Pace has given 40-years of service to the armed forces... which not only explains why he was chosen, but also why he and President Bush had never met before today.

Real Knives and Forks Back
The good news is more airlines are relaxing security concerns and will allow metal cutlery on flights again. The bad news is the airlines are all too broke to offer meals anymore anyway.

Roadside Stain
First, people thought they saw the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich, now they think they see her in a roadside stain in Chicago. And next month, a mental patient in Iowa is hoping everyone will believe that he consistently sees Mary's image in his stool samples.