Tuesday, April 26, 2005

L.A. Times Alert!!! An editorial writer for the L.A. Times decided to make fun of me personally yesterday. Oh well, any publicity is good publicity I guess. Here's the link: LA Times

DeLay Tags Along
House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is joining President Bush on his Social Security road tour. When you propose something as risky as betting your retirement insurance on Wall Street, it's good to bring along someone who makes you look sane by comparison.

DeLay Tags Along II
Critics are attacking the White House now that House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is joining President Bush on his Social Security road tour. That's because usually when DeLay takes trips with rich idiots, lobbyists pay for it, not the taxpayers.

Top 5 Things Overheard During President Bush's Meeting with Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah

5) "I have an idea, if you increase your oil production by 500%, maybe the terrorists will be too busy to attack us!"

4) "Mr. President, let me say again that we find your culture to be decadent and evil... now, how can we help you?"

3) "Hey, don't believe what the media says about how I only want to talk to you about oil. So, um... how 'bout those Mets?"

2) "You have a lovely family, but you know in my country you could legally slay your daughters in an 'honor' killing"

1) "Thank you for bringing me to Crawford instead of the White House... it's not like I see barren wasteland back in Saudi Arabia every damn day"

Chitty Bang Boffo
Broadway's new stage version of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" is expected to be a big hit this year. It's the only time you'll see people in a car in midtown Manhattan and still be happy enough to sing about it.

Will & Grace Back
NBC has announced that "Will & Grace" will be back next fall for its 8th season. It's good news for fans of the show, and a godsend for every red state Republican who needs to use "moral values" to get re-elected this year.

Kmart Makeover
In the first sign that Sears and Kmart have really merged, a Kmart store near Chicago is among the first in the nation to carry Kenmore appliances and Craftsman tools. It's also among the first Kmarts to have customers with all their teeth.

Bono & Gates
Bono and Microsoft founder Bill Gates have been hanging out together lately. While the two men share a passion for Third World development and relief efforts, insiders say they usually just end up downloading free music from the Internet.

Jersey Bear
A black bear has been relocated to the wild after it wandered into a New Jersey neighborhood for a few weeks. The bear is said to be doing generally well, but is having a hard time finding the acid wash jeans and Bon Jovi CD's he now needs to survive.

Steroids & Women
A new study says more young women are taking steroids than ever before. Experts say they're doing it to help level the playing field when they're trying to fight off advances from Barry Bonds.

NYC Conflict of Interest
Another top aide to Mayor Michael Bloomberg has business ties to the New York Jets, raising questions about the credibility of Bloomberg's West Side stadium push. But experts say if the Bloomberg administration is concerned about credibility, it should only be worried if it turns out the aide is a Jets fan.


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