Harry to Auschwitz
In the wake of Prince Harry's Nazi uniform debacle, Prince Charles is ordering him to visit Auschwitz. Harry was actually very willing to go, until he found out he won't be able to work there as a guard.

Top 5 Places to Send Prince Harry for a More Severe Punishment

5) Schools where the teachers won't let him cheat

4) Fergie's bathroom

3) Non-alcoholic beer factory

2) Knicks-Nets game

1) Set of new British TV show: "Common Sense Eye for the Fascist Guy"

Huygens Lands
NASA's "Huygens" probe landed on the surface of Saturn's moon Titan today. So far the probe has confirmed that the atmosphere on Titan is devoid of oxygen and averages temperatures below zero... which means it still makes more sense to live there than most parts of California right now.

Mudslide Victims
Hundreds of people whose homes were destroyed in the California mudslides insist on moving right back into the area. The residents say they're not doing because they're stupid, but because they "want revenge."

Bush's Mistakes
President Bush told a group of interviewers that he now realizes that some of his words have led to unfortunate and unintended consequences. Experts say the words he used that have led to the worst consequences were: "I'm running for President of the United States."