Thursday, January 13, 2005

Prince Harry Shocker
The British royal family is on the defensive after Prince Harry was photographed wearing a Nazi uniform at a party. Experts say that after all the hard work Harry did just to become Prince, it's shocking that he would risk blowing it all on a stunt like this.

Prince Harry Shocker II
Prince Harry's behavior is coming as a total shock to millions. Most decent people find it shocking that a member of the British royal family would wear a Nazi uniform, especially since that's the kind of behavior we expect only from the French royal family.

Top 5 Things Prince Harry was Thinking When He Decided to Wear a Nazi Army Uniform in Public

5) This will stop all that talk about me not being ready for military service

4) Now I'm sure to get that role as the new villain in the next Harry Potter movie

3) This will keep those paparazzi guys away from me now!

2) Rommel drove tanks, I wanna drive tanks... perfect!

1) The French chicks are really gonna dig this!

Lincoln Gay?
A new book claims that Abraham Lincoln was secretly gay. But if Lincoln were gay would he really have started a war and dressed the entire Union army in the same drab dark blue outfits?

Top 5 Gayest Presidential Names

5) Woodrow Wilson

4) Franklin Pierce

3) James Polk

2) Millard Fillmore

1) Warren Harding

Love Case
Courtney Love regained custody of her daughter after a judge in Los Angeles decided she was better off with her mother. But that's only because the girl is a drug dealer.

Social Security Overhaul
President Bush wants Americans in their 20's to get the right to invest their Social Security withholdings in the stock market. That's because after Wall Street steals all their money, they'll be a lot more likely to volunteer for duty in Iraq.

Bush Plea
President Bush is working to convince Congress that it must overhaul Social Security system before it "goes bust." Of course, the President used those exact words because the best way to get most of Congress' attention is to say the word "bust" as much as possible.

WMD Search Over
Earlier this week, the top American weapons inspector in Iraq officially ended the search for weapons of mass destruction. Actually, his job officially ended the moment President Bush safely won re-election.

Farrah's New Show
Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal may star in a reality series called "Chasing Farrah." But if the producers truly wanted it to be a reality show, it should be called "Running Away from Farrah."

Arnold Mudslides
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is personally overseeing the recovery effort at the scene of some of the worst California mudslides. Crews are hoping Arnold will use some of the same skills he showed when he salvaged his career even after doing "The Last Action Hero."


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