Saddam Nabbed
Top things U.S. interrogators are learning from Saddam Hussein:

-The delivery boy at "Tikrit Falafel" really means it when he says you should tip him well

-Needs a refill on his supply of "Just for Men"

-Keeps asking for Mark Geragos' phone number

-You should really check your getaway car's oil every 3000 miles

-Those Glade "Spider Hole Fresheners" don't really last 3 months like they say they do

-With lice, it's either eat or be eaten!

-He's not surrendering, he's just coming out in time to catch the last "Lord of the Rings" Movie

Saddam Reaction
Millions of Americans are taking great satisfaction in seeing pictures of Saddam's cramped conditions in the "Spider Hole," except in New York City. Not because of the city's liberal bent, but because most New Yorkers' apartments are smaller, dirtier, and cost more than $750,000.

Saddam Arrests
U.S. military officials say they've made several arrests based on information they've discovered since Saddam Hussein was captured. Topping the list of detained criminals are Saddam's barber, tailor and makeup artist.