Bachelorette Wedding
ABC paid Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter $1 million to have their wedding on TV last night. Usually you have to marry Michael Jackson or Liza Minnelli to get that kind of money upfront.

Climate Study
A new study shows that due to normal human functions, people have affected the global climate from the beginning of time. The report confirms what many of us have known for years; farting really does make a difference.

No Child Left Behind
School principals are protesting the federal government's new educational standards, complaining that meeting those goals will be impossible for students with serious disabilities and poor English skills. But their concerns aren't likely to move President Bush, who got where he is despite his serious disabilities and poor English skills.