Wal-Mart Santa
For the first time, shoppers and their children will be able to see Santa Claus at Wal-Mart stores this year. But to win the coveted Wal-Mart contract, Santa had to lay off half his elves and move the workshop to China.

Wal-Mart Stampede
After a Wal-Mart shopper was nearly trampled to death on Friday, safety experts are calling on the chain to discontinue its early-morning super sales. But it turns out the stampede wasn't caused by bargain-hunting shoppers; it was hundreds of Wal-Mart janitors desperately trying to outrun the guys from immigration.

Nude Sushi
The Seattle restaurant that was serving sushi on a naked woman's genitals has been forced to discontinue the practice... not because the display was obscene, but because the woman wasn't wearing a proper hairnet.