NEWSDAY ALERT!!!! I'm back in Newsday in the "Punchlines" column today! Here's the link: Newsday


Monica's Men
Monica Lewinsky says her infamous White House liaison is a major liability on the dating scene, leaving her without any serious
boyfriends. Relationship experts agree her past is the problem, not because of the thing with President Clinton, but because of the fact that it looks like she was still eating about 10 Twinkies a day as recently as last week.

CBS Pulls Jackson
In light of the new child molestation charges against Michael Jackson, CBS is canceling next week's TV special featuring his music. But the network says it's filling the spot with a special honoring the music of Jackson's closest peer in the business - R. Kelly.

Hinckley Request
John Hinckley, the man who shot President Reagan, has asked a federal court to let him leave a Washington mental hospital for unescorted visits with his parents. But forensic psychiatrists say Hinckley is still obviously disturbed and delusional, mostly because he still thinks Jodie Foster likes men.