Bloomberg Trip
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is bringing his mom with him on a trip to Israel later this month. She'll be the key to a major prisoner exchange; the Israelis will get their captured soldiers released, and Islamic radicals will finally get a chance to learn from a Jewish mother about how to REALLY terrorize Jewish men.

Child Found
The frantic search for the Manhattan child who police thought was abducted ended this afternoon when it turned out she was in class all day. Judging by the state of city schools, experts say she would have been better off with a kidnapper.

Beauty Contest Prize
Miss Afghanistan, Vida Samadzai, did not win the "Miss Earth" contest this weekend. But after donning a bikini in the swimsuit competition, she did win a prize after being named "most likely to be killed by terrorists."