Visiting Private Lynch
Mohammed al-Rehaief, the Iraqi lawyer who helped rescue Pvt. Jessica Lynch, has just wrapped up an extensive four-day tour of West Virginia. Lynch's friends and family choked back tears as they expressed their gratitude... and after seeing her hometown, Al-Rehaief choked back tears of remorse as he realized Lynch was really better off in Iraq.

Lunch Ladies Luck
The 15 Minnesota school cafeteria workers who won the $95 million Powerball jackpot all say they plan to stay on the job. Upon hearing that news, Tiffany's immediately began work on set of diamond-studded hairnets.

Madonna Song
In her new song, "American Life," Madonna proclaims she is, "not a Christian and not a Jew." Finally, something both religious communities can celebrate together!