NEWSDAY ALERT!!!

I'm back in the "Punchlines" section of today's Newsday! See the link: Newsday


Dean Comment
Political experts say the only way Democratic Presidential candidate Howard Dean can actually win over the "guys with Confederate flags on their pickup trucks" is by choosing a Southerner as a running mate... but only if that Southerner is Yosemite Sam.

Microsoft Bounty
Microsoft is setting up a hotline where people can report the names of people who cripple servers by spreading computer viruses and other corrupted programs. And that means most computer users will be calling in to rat out Bill Gates.

Bad TV Season
The major TV networks are having one of the worst fall seasons ever because they can't get 18 to 24 year olds to watch new shows filled with sex and violence. Experts say it's because most 18 to 24 year olds are too busy beating each other up and having sex.