Jackson Defense
Michael Jackson's attorneys are preparing to defend the pop star from molestation charges. They plan to play the race card... as soon as they can figure what race he is exactly.


Counterfeit Smokes
The tobacco industry is being hit hard by millions of counterfeit cigarettes worldwide. To combat the problem, the cigarette companies are launching a new ad campaign with the following winning slogans:

-You're gonna die anyway... so who cares about going broke?

-Our cigarettes cost a little more... but they'll kill you faster!

-Every pack of ours you buy puts one more patent lawyer out of work!

-Every time you buy a counterfeit pack, you're stealing from a murderer... so watch out!

-Take a bite out of crime... give a real cigarette to a kid!