Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Democrats Retreat
Congressional Democrats have finally backed off their demands for a timetable to withdraw from Iraq. If only the insurgents were as easy to defeat as Pelosi and Reid, the war would have ended years ago!

Both sides are declaring victory in the compromise. The White House is happy the timetables were scrapped, and the Democrats are happy that this latest retreat has made them even more popular with French voters.

Hibbert Choice
Georgetown 7-footer Roy Hibbert has announced he's decided not to go to the NBA and will play his senior season.... not so much because he wants to go back to the Final Four, but because it'll be fun to watch when the Celtics lose the shot to draft him next year too.

Palestinian Truce
Fatah and Hamas leaders met in Gaza today to discuss another Palestinian cease fire. The meeting was declared a success when only 5 of the delegates ended up dead or wounded.

Angelina's Goal
Angelina Jolie says her number one priority is to be a "great mom"... and she's going to keep getting impregnated by different men until she gets it right.

Iran Nukes
The International Atomic Energy Agency says Iran continues to defy U.N. Security Council demands to scrap its nuclear weapons program. Iran now says it's all part of its attempts to cut down on harmful carbon emissions.

Coke Thieves Sentenced
Two former Coca-Cola employees were sentenced Wednesday to serve federal prison terms for conspiring to steal Coke's recipe and sell it to Pepsi. Of course if the defendants had stolen the recipe for new Coke, no one would have pressed any charges.

Edwards Attack
John Edwards is attacking President Bush for using the war on terror to justify abuses of power and other mistakes. This coming from a man who still has no excuse for spending $500 on a haircut.


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