Monday, October 30, 2006

Casey Apologizes
A few days after asking for more troops in Iraq, top General George Casey is apologizing for "giving the wrong impression"... Casey shouldn't have let anyone think he knows what he's doing.

Missing Weapons
A new audit shows that about 14,000 American guns and other weapons are missing in Iraq. We probably left them in the same place we put our strategy to win.

Midterm Predictions
With eight days until election day, experts say control of the Congress is about to change hands... but I doubt the lobbyists will let anyone else run the government.

GOP Denials
Republican leaders in the House are now strongly denying they could have done anything about the Mark Foley scandal because they didn't know about his "explicit email conversations" with young pages. In fact, as proponents and products of abstinence only sex education, the Congressmen now claim they wouldn't have understood any of those emails even if they had seen them.

Bus Thief
Orlando police have arrested a 15-year-old boy who they say stole a city bus, picked up passengers, and collected fares. Witnesses say they knew something was fishy when the bus started going faster than 25 miles per hour.

LIRR Lawsuits
Despite several warnings, riders on the Long Island commuter railroad continue to fall into the gaps between train doors and station platforms and are planning to sue. Now the railroad is bracing itself for a series of lawsuits set to be filed by riders who accidentally flushed themselves down the on-board toilets.


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