Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hurting Words
Maryland's Governor Martin O'Malley says the Republicans are deliberately hurting the U.S. economy to undermine President Obama's re-election chances. But O'Malley says he has no idea why President Obama is deliberately hurting the U.S. economy.

Potter Gold
Harry Potter broke the record for opening weekend box office with $168 million. In other words, it only took two days for the movie to make as much as the federal government spends in 5 whole minutes!

Not so Bad!
"Carmageddon" didn't turn out so bad as Los Angeles was not cripple by 405 Freeway closure this weekend. But thousands of Angelinos were sent away from emergency rooms after mistaking walking for restless leg syndrome.

Hotel Woes
Marriott is blaming Congress for its weak revenues in the D.C. area... with all the Congressmen doing all this dirty Twittering and texting, who needs to get a room with a hooker anymore?

Money Maker?
A new plan has emerged to save the U.S. from its debt crisis - the White House is trying to sell the TV rights to a cage match between Casey Anthony and Nancy Grace.

July 18th

362: Emperor Julian arrives at Antioch with an Roman expeditionary force of 60,000 men and stays there for nine months... the local prostitutes saw gross revenues increase by 5,000%!

1870: The First Vatican Council decrees the dogma of papal infallibility. Ironically, the decree includes six misspellings and an incomplete footnote.

1969: After a party on Chappaquiddick Island, Senator Ted Kennedy from Massachusetts drives an Oldsmobile off a bridge and his passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne, dies. Because Kopechne was probably pregnant, Kennedy is named NOW's "Abortion Rights Defender of the Year."


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