Social Insecurity
President Obama says he "can't guarantee" Social Security checks will go out on August 3rd if the debt ceiling isn't raised. The really bad news is that elderly Americans are preparing to pay for goods and services with sexual favors.



Not Hard at Work
The highest paid state employee in California keeps getting paid despite not being allowed to do his job because of concerns he is mentally ill... of course, that's a concern for anyone who chooses to keep living in California.



Apple Does it All
Apple alone accounted for 20% of all sales growth for US retailers from January through March of this year. And the other 80% came from those stores selling iPhone cases.



Debt Alert
Moody's cut Ireland's debt rating to junk status. It's getting so bad, the Irish government just had to lay off the leprechaun guarding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.



L.A. Alert
Moody's cut the debt rating for Los Angeles yesterday. That's sending interest rates so high, Mayor Villaraigosa is disguising himself as an illegal alien and hoping to get deported.





July 13th



1793: Journalist and French revolutionary Jean-Paul Marat was assassinated in his bathtub.. since then, no one in France has taken a bath.


1878: The European powers redraw the maps of Serbia, Montenegro and Romania… just to mess with all the kids in 11th grade geography class.


1977: New York City experiences a blackout lasting nearly 24 hours that leads to widespread fires, looting, and even more than usual public urination.