Thursday, July 07, 2011

Debt Deal?
It looks more and more like the debt talks in Washington are closer than ever to producing a deal... which can only mean Democrats and Republicans in Congress have finally found a way to cut everything else but their annual pay raises.

Texas Execution
Texas executed the Mexican citizen last night that President Obama and the UN wanted to be spared. To make up for that, Texas says it is also now willing to execute Casey Anthony.

Debit Cards
California is now issuing unemployment payments by state-issued debit cards. Coincidentally, the only place hiring in California these days is the factory where they're making those new state-issued debit cards.

Armored Car Robbery
As much as a million dollars was robbed from an armored car outside Los Angeles last night. In a related story, it looks like the Dodgers will be able to make payroll this week!

Home Help?
The White House unveiled a new program to keep unemployed people in their homes yesterday... this comes after two years of being unable to do anything to keep EMPLOYED people in their homes.

July 8th

1663: Charles II of England grants John Clarke a Royal Charter to Rhode Island... and the right to use Pawtucket as a toilet.

1876: White supremacists kill five black Republicans in Hamburg, SC. Today, black Republicans all get shows on talk radio.

1947: Reports are broadcast that a UFO crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico... but no one believes them because even aliens had to know there's nothing to do there.


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