Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The world's markets are watching closely as the Greek Parliament is about to take a crucial austerity vote. It looks like the plan is the government will pretend to cut the budget as long as the Greek people pretend to keep working.

Fantasy Budget
Govenor Jerry Brown's new California budget plan simply assumes millions more dollars in tax revenue. It's the shakiest assumption made by a California Governor since Arnold thought Maria wouldn't notice anything odd about the fact that their maid's kid could bench press 350 lbs at age ten.

Dodgers Chapt. 11
The L.A. Dodgers bankruptcy hearing is today. If recent patterns hold, the judge will be about to grant the team bankruptcy protection... but then the bullpen will blow it in the 9th.

Two iPhones?
Reports say Apple may now come out with two new iPhones in September... that's one iPhone for people who need to communicate with their friends, and another iPhone for most Apple users who have no friends.

Nike Earnings
Nike reported a nice 15% profit jump for the last three months. It turns out millions of Americans wanted to be more prepared to run away from Anthony Weiner.

June 28th

1519: Charles V of Spain is elected Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire… but the election wasn’t even close because the only other guy running was Rabbi Herschel Sapperstein.

1902: The U.S. Congress passes the Spooner Act, not to be confused with the Spooning Act, which authorized President Teddy Roosevelt to cuddle his wife in bed for as long as he likes.

1922: The Irish Civil War begins with an argument about whether Guiness is a beer or a stout.


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