Debt Deal Dying
The White House and Congressional Democrats insist on raising taxes to cut the deficit... and if the White House staff and Democrats in Congress actually paid their taxes, that plan just might work!



No Hiring
A new study shows that businesses are hiring at a record low pace. The only jobs available these days are all the positions made available by Congressmen resigning in disgrace.



Aid Freeze
The Obama administration is freezing military aid to Pakistan. Pakistan says it's just going to have to rely on all the weapons it already gets from al Qaeda.



Pot Ruling
The Obama Administration has determined that marijuana is of no medicinal use... but it vows to continue smoking it every time it comes up with new economic policies.



Ford Dead
Betty Ford died late Friday night... so we can all finally have a drink.





July 11th


1405: Ming admiral Zheng He sets sail to explore the world for the first time... and like most first-timers, he forgets to pack sunblock.


1889: Tijuana, Mexico, is founded. The first cock fight begins 15 minutes later.


1950: Pakistan joins the World Bank... but mostly just to get the free toaster.