Thursday, July 14, 2011

Obama Quote
When leaving the debt talks yesterday, President Obama was quoted as saying: "I've reached my limit. This may bring my presidency down, but I won't yield on this."... but it's not clear whether he was talking about the deficit or giving Michelle the cable remote.

Borders Death
Borders Books is about to be totally liquidated... unless it succeeds in a plan to pretend it's a unionized auto company and get a government bailout.

Fan is Saved
The fan who caught Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit is getting lots of offers to do commercials. But since the target audience is baseball fans, all the commercials will be for Viagra and Depends.

Funeral Fight
A funeral home strike has been avoided in Chicago. Thanks to a new deal, the funeral workers will keep working and all the dead people in Chicago will keep voting Democrat.

S&P Warning
S&P is warning the U.S. that the country could lose its AAA rating... confusing millions of Americans who think that means the government won't be able to get its car towed.

July 14th

1223: Louis VIII becomes King of France upon the death of his father, Philip II of France and his mother, Isabelle III of Brooklyn Heights.

1769: An expedition led by Gaspar de PortolĂ  establishes a base in California and opens the first overpriced organic restaurant.

1969: After Honduras loses a soccer match against El Salvador, riots break out in Honduras against people who think soccer is worth watching.


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