Folk Singer Dead
Mary Travers of 1960s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary, has died... mostly because of complications from eating Peter and Paul.



Burt in Rehab
Burt Reynolds' manager says the actor has checked into a drug rehab clinic. But his toupee is still at home and using.



No Shield for Europe
President Obama is scrapping plans to build a missile shield for the Czech Republic and Poland. But in return, the U.S. is planning to offer those two countries up to $4,500 to buy their own defenses from the new "missiles for clunkers" program.



Citi Ad Blitz
Citigroup is about to launch an expensing advertising campaign aimed at cleaning up its badly tarnished image. The campaign will spend its first $20 million paying the Mets to take the bank's name off their stadium.



Cool Surgery
Doctors performing a radical new surgery technique have used a patient's tooth to restore her sight. Yeah, but now she's just giving everyone biting looks.




September 17th


1630: The city of Boston, Massachusetts is founded, leaving the locals with nothing to do for the next 271 years until the Red Sox come to town.


1776: The Spanish found the Presidio in San Francisco. It remains the last building in the city not built with special access for drag queens.


1787: The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... al elected officials and government workers have ignored it ever since.


1920: The National Football League is organized in Canton, Ohio... great news for the thousands of people who had been waiting a year to finally hold their fantasy football draft.