ACORN Funding Pulled
The Senate has voted to pull funding from ACORN after several vidoes surfaced showing the organization helping people posing as pimps and hookers get government funding. The Senators hate it when other people try to move in on their specialties.



Show Thrower Free
The Iraqi man who threw his shoes at President Bush last year is now out of jail and unrepentent... mostly because he's just rude enough to get a role in the new Kanye West video.



Crime Still Falling
The FBI says that murder and violent crime dropped in 2008. Man, the recession is so bad even the criminals can't get any work!



Deaf Players
This year, 39 deaf and hard-of-hearing students are playing NCAA Division I college football. They had something in common with the 67 blind referees officiating Division I college football.



Female Drunks
A new study shows there are an estimated 6 million U.S. women are alcoholics. It's easy to find them; they're the ones married to members of Congress.





September 15th

1616: The first non-aristocratic, free public school in Europe is opened in Frascati, Italy. Amazingly, the first teacher isn't murdered until the following week.

1959: Nikita Khrushchev becomes the first Soviet leader to visit the United States. He becomes a hero in his home country when he returns with several rolls of real toilet paper.

1990: France announces it will send 4,000 troops to the Persian Gulf to fight Iraq... giving Iraq it's first hopes that it will indeed win the war.