Jackson Doc Raid
Police have seized several items from the homes and offices of Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. But there's still no sign of Jackson's missing original face, skin, or talent.



Obama Slammed
Critics are attacking President Obama for speaking out about the arrest of Prof. Henry Gates, even though he did not know all the important facts. The White House is shooting back, pointing out that if President Obama didn't speak out about all the issues he knows little about, he would never be able to make any speeches at all!



Fort Myers Firing
The town manager of Fort Myers Beach, Florida, has been fired because his wife is a porn star. The Mayor says the manager's wife was making his mistresses jealous.



Jersey Sting
A massive sting in New Jersey has led to charges for politicians, businessmen, and even several Rabbis. Prosecutors are now simply planning to just put the entire state under house arrest.



Hamas Focus
Hamas is reportedly shifting its focus from military action to public relations... it's yet another risky investment in the New York Times.

Hamas Focus
Hamas is reportedly shifting its focus from military action to public relations... from now on, they're going to dress up cuter babies as suicide bombers for all their photos.





July 24th

1935: The dust bowl heat wave reaches its peak, sending temperatures to 109° in Chicago... SUV's aren't even invented yet, but environmentalists blame them anyway.

1983: George Brett batting for the Kansas City Royals against the New York Yankees, has a game-winning home run nullified in the "Pine Tar Incident".

2008: Barry Bonds has 756 home runs nullified in the "Steroid Incident."

1990: Iraqi forces start massing on the Kuwait-Iraq border... this tends to happen when the border is the only place with working bathrooms.