CHITTY CHITTY BANKRUPT II: GM IN CHAPTER 11




GM is B.M.
GM is filing for bankruptcy today... this would be bad news if anyone had actually bought a GM car in the last five years.



Abortion Doc Shot
Dr. George Tiller was shot and killed at his Kansas church Sunday morning. It's not clear whether the assailant targeted him because he performed late-term abortions or because he didn't take his insurance.



New TV Guide President
Michael Clayton has been chosen as TV Guide's new president. Clayton takes over at 9am today, 8 Central.



Titanic Survivor Dead
Millvina Dean, the last survivor of the Titanic, has died in Britain at the age of 97. This means it is now permissable to kill Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.



Geithner's Trip
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner heads to China today to assure Beijing that its investment in the dollar is safe... which is more than the Chinese can say for the Moo Goo Gai Pan he ate on the plane.



Playboy CEO
Playboy is expected to hire Scott Flanders as its new CEO. Experts say it's crazy for Playboy to hire anyone, since they could always get a CEO for free on the Internet.